Chantix - Day 8

Today has been great so far. I slept well last night, did not have a cigarette right when I woke up, and generally felt fine all day.

I was able to keep the cigarettes two hours apart and honestly my cravings weren't as bad as yesterday's when they were 1½ hours apart. I was keeping track of the time when it was getting close, but it wasn't terrible. Tomorrow I'm going to try for 2½-3 hours. I've got some work to do in the garage so that should keep my mind occupied.

I've been pretty thirsty all day with the two 1mg doses. That's normal from what I understand. One of the other side effects listed was a change in perceived taste. So far everything to me has tasted the same except for the Sunkist soda I had, and the cigarettes (which, fortunately, are tasting worse).

Given the progress today with the cravings, I'm pretty confident that I can stop when this pack runs out. I'm a little worried though, because right now when I do have the cravings at least I know that I will get the cigarette eventually. Once these run out though, there will be no more and I'm not sure how I'll handle that. Hopefully the drug will work as advertised and I won't even want any.

Chantix - Day 7

I put the foam topper back on the mattress last night. I did sleep better through the night, but I had a little trouble getting to sleep. I know I wanted a cigarette really bad while I was lying there. I'm not sure if it was worse to try to get to sleep with the craving, or with the stimulant effect of the nicotine.

I don't remember any of the dreams from last night. I woke up a little earlier than normal 'cause I had a friend coming over to see my house and go out to lunch. I had the first cigarette about an hour after I woke up, and the next one was after lunch 1½ hours later.

A little background before I go on - I'm not a chain smoker. I started smoking cigarettes right around the time I turned 18 and have never tried to quit. I had been smoking less than a pack a day usually. Maybe 15 cigarettes, depending on how long I was awake and what else was going on. If I had no reason not to, I would usually have one an hour. I had no problem holding off as long as I had something else going on - like working on my car or building something or just anything that had my complete attention. I would smoke more though if I was outside or driving for any length of time. There were days when I was playing golf and could go through a pack (for the day - not the round).

So today I was able to keep all the cigarettes 1½ hours apart, and the cravings were not as bad as yesterday. I had read about the drug after I got it and I knew it was supposed to quell the pleausrable sensations from smoking, but I forgot that it is also supposed to control cravings. I'm glad that's working and I'm gonna try 2 hours tomorrow and see if I can do it. I'm down to my last pack now, and if I keep cutting back that should last me through Monday.

No more after that.

Chantix - Day 6

Well I did cut back some today. I did not have a cigarette when I first woke up (and felt fine) and I will not have one before bed tonight. I'm not supposed to have one before bed anyway, but my usual habit is to have one, then take a shower, then go to bed. During the day I cut back from one about every hour to one every 1:30-1:45. I was really craving them by the time I did have them though. That kinda fell apart after dinner. I wasn't paying attention to the time but I think I was having one every 1:15 or so.

I woke up a couple times during the night last night, but I think that was more related to how much I ate for dinner and not the drugs. I did have trouble staying asleep in the late morning again too, because of the mattress. The stupid thing is just a little over two years old and is already sagging. I have a foam topper for it that I took off a few months ago because it had started to sag. I may put it back on and see what happens. I really don't have the money for a new mattress. I wonder what would happen if I turned it upside-down (it's a plush top, and is only supposed to be rotated, not turned).

Two more half mg doses tomorrow, then Friday I go up to two 1mg doses.

Chantix - Day 5

So nothing special really today. Overall, every cigarette today felt pretty much the same as the ones yesterday (except the first one in the morning). And again I do think that the satisfaction from smoking has been diminished somewhat, but that I'm also getting used to it.

I didn't really cut back today, but tomorrow I'm going to see what happens if I don't smoke one right when I wake up. I didn't used to do that. I used to have my first cigarette of the day in the car on my way to work. When I was having sleeping problems several years ago though, the doctor told me to go outside and sit in the sun for 30 minutes right after I woke up every day. I figured since I was going outside and had nothing to do, I may as well have a cigarette. So tomorrow I'll see if I can get by with just some caffeine in the morning.

Chantix - Day 5

Man I had trouble sleeping last night. I don't know if it was the pills or the fact that I slept until 3:00 yesterday. I went to bed a little after 1:00 because I was tired then, but it was well after 2:00 when I finally got to sleep. Then I kept waking up during the night. I think part of this is that my mattress is sagging in the middle and if I try to sleep on my stomach then it bends my back too much and hurts. I'll see what I can do about that tonight.

I had lots of dreams last night that I kept waking up during, which made them seem more vivid. I can remember two of them. One was that I was at my old high school hanging around with a bunch of the people on the football, basketball, and volleyball teams. We all went into the "old" gym at the school to watch a basketball game. The floor was made out of brick though so the players were having a hard time dribbling. Then we all headed out for a Pirates of the Caribbean trip. We were all dressed up like pirates and we were supposed to be the crew of one ship. We marched up to the Canadian border (I don't know exactly where, but we set up camp by the St. Lawrence River) and were getting ready to go to sleep for the night when a couple more crews of pirates showed up. We were supposed to be meeting them. We were all going to march together along the Canadian border and then we'd get on our ships and head to England. I asked one of the other guys how long this would all last, and he said "about 2 years." I realized that I couldn't stay gone that long 'cause I had to pay my mortgage. So I abandoned them in the middle of the night and walked to my parents' house (which was surprisingly close to the Canadian border).

In the other dream I was watching a baseball game (it may have been a high school game) and was sitting in the bleachers. I was by myself except for some hispanic guy with his wife and a couple annoying kids. For some reason it was the bottom of the ninth and the home team was already winning 3-1 with two guys on, but they couldn't be declared the winner because nobody had gotten a hit yet. The coach drove through the dugout fence in his Gator 4x4 (which was completely unnecessary since the fence was chain-link and we could plainly see and hear what was going on in there) and yelled "Alex, we need you to suit up!" The hispanic guy, who was apparently was also named Alex, got up and went to his car and put on a uniform. He went up to bat, got a hit, and then the game was over.

Chantix - Day 4

Well today really went a lot like yesterday. I had the first pill late in the day (because I was sleeping - not because I drove out to my parents' before lunch) and the cigarettes in the afternoon were similar to yesterday's. And honestly now that I think about it I don't think there was quite as much satisfaction as normal with today's cigarettes or yesterday's. I think I'm just kinda getting used to the fact that there won't be as much as normal. Maybe the effects on the first two days were a little more pronounced since the feeling on that one day was different from the feeling I got with the thousands of cigarettes I smoked in all the time I was addicted.

I took pill number 2 about 2 hours ago and I'm getting ready to go to bed now, so we'll see what I end up dreaming about tonight. There was nothing weird last night. The dreams (that I remember) were more vivid and I did sleep until 3:00, but there wasn't really anything weird.

There were a couple times today when I got halfway through a cigarette and then looked at it and thought "am I not done with this yet?" So I guess that's a positive.

I know I said in my last post that I planned on quitting on Monday (the 13th). I have about 2½ packs left and I'm gonna try to slowly cut back and just finish them off. It may end up being next Monday or it may not, but it should be close.

And I just looked at the BC/BS website and they show Chantix as one of their preferred prescription drugs, which in my understanding means it should have been covered and I should not have had to pay the full $120.99. I'll call BC/BS about that tomorrow and see what the deal is.

Varenicline - Day 3

Well today didn't really seem promising. I had lunch out at my parents' so I had 3 cigarettes before I got there, then had lunch, then a cigarette. After lunch we played Uno and watched TV for a while so it was probably 3 hours or so before I had another cigarette.

Unlike the other afternoons though, this one felt normal. The other ones I had in the afternoon and evening seemed pretty normal too. I'm kinda curious if this had something to do with having 3 cigarettes before I took the pill or if it had something to do with waiting several hours after the pill before I had another cigarette. Anyway I hope the pills are working and I hope they work better when I start taking two a day tomorrow.

Next Monday is the day I plan/hope to stop smoking.

No weird dreams to report last night either. At least none that I remember. And honestly, the one about the Blazer and the house in Bellaire isn't all that weird. It was what I was dreaming about right before I woke up though so it was still pretty vivid in my mind.

Varenicline - Day 2

Today went pretty much like yesterday. The cigarette I had before lunch and before I took the pill felt pretty normal. I ate my lunch, took the pill, then had another cigarette and that one was pretty normal too. The other ones throughout the afternoon were like yesterday's - they just didn't feel like they did anything. When I finished them I thought to myself "why did I just do that?"

With the third one I had today after lunch, I got about 2/3rds of the way through and I didn't even feel like finishing it. I did, but I probably shouldn't have.

Tonight though, the cigarettes were feeling like normal again. Tomorrow is the last day for one .5mg pill - Monday it goes to two per day. I'm kinda curious what my dreams will be like when I'm taking one in the evening also.

Anyway I hope the whole futility/non-pleasure (it's not really displeasure, but more an absence of pleasure, and I'm not sure that there's a word for that) feelings persist. I read the success rate with Chantix after 1 year was only 22%. This is my first time trying to quit and I've been smoking for 12 years. I'd like to just do it once and be done because otherwise I'll've wasted $360.